04.15.12 [110] I like your starry eyes. They yell, “Surprise, surprise!” I’m in love, but not for long..

04.15.12
 
Music/title: Currents Convulsive; Pierce The Veil
_ _

“Please understand me when I’d rather see you dead
Than live without me, so thirsty for more.”

 
 
I should’ve known. A small part of me fell out of love with him when he told me it never occurred to him that I’d want help moving away from my family. I should’ve pushed him to grow up then. I should’ve confronted the doubts I was having. But I loved him. I fucking loved him so much that I was choosing to look past his flaws, serious flaws, so that I could be with him. So things would work between us. I needed things to work between us because I fucking loved him, and couldn’t handle the idea of having to stop.
 
Well, congratulations, Bettina. Here you are. Your heart split wide open and bleeding in your hands as we speak. Was it worth it? Do you feel like an adult now that you’ve experienced this? It’s what you want, right? To hurt?
 
 
You haven’t hurt nearly enough, girl.
 
/ / /
 
Currents Convulsive is the song of my every emotion,
and this the darkness inching closer and closer to me.

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