And are you happy with what you’ve become…. (Can you tell me loudly?)

05.17.18
Music/title: For The Silent; Say Anything
_ _

 

“It’s not much better than death,
Giving up on everything.”

. .. … .

 

I keep thinking I’ll get lucky.
That just the right person must be out there, somewhere…
I am hopeful.  I am nostalgic.  (I am lonely.)

And it consumes me.

 

Why should I care?
Why should I need them to ‘complete’ myself?
[ Because you’re weak. ]

Faith in humanity… To think that people call this a strength….
It’s a fucking hindrance to my sanity.

. … …

 

Maybe he made me this way,
Maybe this is how I’ve always been..

 

…Does the road traveled really change this outcome?

4 thoughts on “And are you happy with what you’ve become…. (Can you tell me loudly?)

  1. Hmmm … tricky question. Now let’s see …

    Your writing and some of your photos freak me out a little because they come across as raw and damaged, but I know you to be the opposite of that. You’re genuinely and uniquely creative, tough, and strong, and way smart, and insightful. I like and admire all of that. You just continually amaze and delight me. The world’s a better place because you’re in it.

    So ner.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ::smiles:: Well, would you be surprised to know that these “raw and damaged” writings and photos are usually thoughts I can’t get out of my own head? They are all personal feelings and experiences. They relate entirely to my current day occurrences.
      Am I still smart, creative, tough, and insightful? …I like to believe so.

      But these writings…. These thoughts.. They are quite real. And while they do not plague me every day, I do still struggle.

      This post is about my current struggle with the loss of friendship. Many friendships. Because I have changed. And my friends did not change with me. And because I am at the point in my life where I no longer need just anyone, or the “filler friends” we receive in childhood, but instead a person that challenges and accepts me and all my darker sides…. I have found myself wanting. And lonely. And in a rather saddened state of despair.

      I can’t tell you whether I believe in souls, but if I did I would say that each post holds a small piece of my soul. An attempt to make sense of the evil thoughts that plague me.

      All that said….
      I am not an overall depressed person. Just a very contemplative one. That has a way with words. ::smiles::

      The world is a better place with your comments. And your ability to make it thus far in my ramblings. ::smiles again::

      Like

    • ::smirks:: …Compliment taken.
      Because curiosity ensues, where did your thoughts happen to go with my words? ::smiles::

      p.s. I hope you do know that your comment produced quite the grin from me. <3

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s