You don’t impress me (admit it) You don’t intimidate me (admit it)- Why don’t you bow down, get on the ground, WALK THIS FUCKING PLANK (YEAH!)

December 16, 2017December 24, 2017 / zeebam / Leave a comment

Music/title: Admit It!; Say Anything
_ _

“Cause I’m proud of my life and the things that I have done;
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become.”
. . … …. .

I’ve never cried at a concert before.

I’ve never felt such a connection with a band as this.
Perhaps it’s his lyrics.
Perhaps it’s his own bi-polar disorder’s pertinence to my mother.
Maybe he makes me hate her just a little bit less..

Seventeen years, two days, and fifty-four songs later-
Max Bemis still performs each and every note as if it’s his first.

The emotion portrayed was breathtaking,
and with his final ‘Walk Through Hell’ I couldn’t help myself…

/ / /

And I say yeah (what do you..)

But no one knows you better…

November 4, 2017 / zeebam / Leave a comment

Music/title: Say My Name (Emancipator Remix); ODESZA
_ _

“So, what’d you say?”

. . .. .

Just tell him already.

…You know you want it.

But you held your course to some distant war, in the corners of your mind…

July 23, 2017 / zeebam / Leave a comment

Music/title: Angela; The Lumineers
_ _

“Let the exits pass, all the tar and glass-
‘Til the road and sky align.”

. . .

I just need to catch my breath,
then everything will be okay, right?

. .

The dark parts of my brain are seeping through.

[ But you did it- you’re FREE. ]

Is that so?
I claim the void is supposed to be empty,

So why can’t I stop trying to fill it?

Remember last year when you told me, to always stay here and never leave me.. (The light from your eyes made it feel like we-e-e-e were dancing in the moonlight)

July 9, 2017 / zeebam / 4 Comments

Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
_ _

“These will be a life long stories.”

. . …

Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..

My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.

I am in control.

And you won’t ever take it from me again.

Black Beatles in the city, be back immediately- Sent flowers, but you said you didn’t receive them.. (Said you didn’t need them)

July 8, 2017July 8, 2017 / zeebam / 2 Comments

Music/title: Black Beatles; Our Last Night
_ _

“There is nothing to explain.”

. . …

Only two more weeks until I hit refresh on this life.

Sometimes I wish I had parents to see how far I’ve progressed.
And it’s time like these that I miss her. Or the idea of her, at least.

I wonder if she’s sane enough to feel regret.

I wonder if I truly care anymore.

Daddy, I don’t wanna grow up anyway- Grown ups are all sad… (Doesn’t matter where I come from anyway)

June 28, 2017June 29, 2017 / zeebam / Leave a comment

Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
_ _

“I’ll grow up and get sad.”

. …. .

If only I’d known…

I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.

Not me.

All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.

What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?

[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.

Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love.. ]

Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..

If only they knew.

/ / /

It keeps me jump jump jumpin’ and-ah..