Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”
To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?
Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?
[ yes. ]
I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.
[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]
To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….
True emotional ecstasy.
. . .
"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead."
Music/title: Anti-Venom; Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker
“Could you not feel the urgency,
And insist there’s something more?”
. .. ….
There it is, once again..
Deep in the pit of my stomach- That restlessness; craving to be let go.
I hold the idea firmly in my hands, If only just a taste..
But, ‘The truth is always the anti-venom.’
..And I really can’t stop this from happening.
/ / /
The truth is…
Music/title: Wounded Healer (Live! from the Troubadour); Watsky
It’s never enough for me.. To feel wanted has become such an addiction,
I don’t think I even realize when I’m giving in to it lately. It’s usually not a problem.
Unless.. ..Well, unless I really care about the person. And said person falls in love with me.
And I love someone else, who they then have to hear about every time they see me.
..swallowing their love for me like a fucking brick.
“I don’t know. In a way I like being all the love with you, even when it hurts.
But I have decided that we can only be friends. I know that has always been known,
but I live in a fantasy world you see. ..and have these weird delusions of things that I think could be.
So I am going to get over myself tonight.”
He’s been playing it off as though it’s nothing so well for so long..
This hurts. I’m hurting him, and it’s hurting me..
“You can’t love everyone, Bettina.
..and everyone can’t love you..”