Our house is falling over- Don’t drown me, I’m underwater. Let’s call this whole thing over… (Why are you here?)


Music/title: Just a Like Song; Al Bairre
_ _

 

“Upside down,
Inside out..
(Anywhere you wanna be)”

. . … .

 

[ But I’m not qualified for anything. ]

“You’re always saying that.”

[ What am I qualified for then? ]

“….”


 

Decisions.
Change.
Good or bad.
Right or wrong.

I hate choice.
I want to be told what to do-
I want subservience;
To be a slave.

– –
 

But, darling… You wear the mask so well.

/ / /

 

Disbanded treats.
Thank you, Al Bairre. <3
 

I fell in love at the open houses, I felt a little bit broken ’bout it. And now I know- You know I’ll follow you but.. (Where do we go from here?)

01-21-17-10
Music/title: Where Do We Go From Here?; Al Bairre
_ _

 

“Cause I saw the good and the bad in me,
But never which one I should be.”

. . .. ….. .

 

Is it real this time?
Am I finally reaching the surface?

A home.
A true home.
It all happened so fast- I was so against it, and then… It clicked; Everything fell into place. And now I can’t imagine anything else. My resolve deteriorates as we speak; My heart beating faster at the idea…

Do you know what this means to me?

No more boxes.
No more unsettled tendencies.

 

[ Does this mean I will finally feel complete? ]

.

No, love.
There is no such thing as complete.
Don’t you see?
We are never done,
But.. We are fulfilled.
We are happy,
and happier upon losing the unhappiness.
Don’t you see..?

.
 

[ Da, We are to survive.
And this is just the beginning… ]

And I’ve fallen for you… (You’re nothing, you’re nothing)

03.12.16 -0
Music/title: Let’s Fall In Love Some More; Al Bairre
_ _

 

“…You’re nothing like me.”

. . … .

 

You are right.
You were there with me through a lot of fucked up shit- But we are separate people.
With separate interests.
And despite how much you love me,
I don’t think you really like me as a person.

You don’t like any of the people I am friends with.
Or the people I date.
Or the choices I make in life-
What is left but the bond from being held hostage together?

I stopped talking to you years ago.
You are the one that wanted to start this again, if you remember.
 

So maybe it’s better this way after all…

 

/ / /

 
Forever, and not at all..

03.21.15 [26/52] Hello there, Dear Nicholas…. ( I’ve hated you since our first kiss )

03.21.15
Music/title: Bungalow; Al Bairre
_ _

 

“You’ll never understand, I just did it ‘cause I can…”

. .. ..

 

It was just so damn vivid..

[ Are you still going through with it? ]

 

 
….Of-fucking-course.

. . .


 

Sometimes I hear her voice-  Playing those same conversations over and over in my head.
Sometimes I imagine smashing her head into the floor- Purely beyond recognition..

 

[ Still think you’re going through with it? ]

 

/ / /

 
I’ve had a little bit too much of her..