Music/title: Changes; Mutemath
“I’m not understood.”
.. .. ……
Life has been one roller coaster after another lately.
I don’t know what’s up or down, and I’m not entirely sure that’s how I want it.
But that’s normal right?
Aren’t we always uncertain about something in our lives?
I’m unsure about this.
But, maybe we are overdue…
Music/title: Young Robot; Dance Gavin Dance
“Feeling like a savage,
You know I gotta have it.”
I thought I would enjoy firing her.
It was so justified, you know?
But here I am.
Drinking with Dance Gavin Dance.. Reminiscing in 2013.
What am I doing?
Two more months.
I can keep it together for two more months. ..Right?
/ / /
It’s been long time coming..
Music/title: Waves; Electric Guest
“Oh, my mind, is all
Washed away, all away.”
. . .
More uneventful than most birthdays, I would say.
Yet, with the right company-
One of the best…….
I love you.
I’d take a gluten free snack adventure over gifts any day.
Bunches of love,
/ / /
And always such a pretty thing..
Music/title: Snowship (Thomas Jack Remix); Benjamin Francis Leftwich
“Your heart’s wired up to the eyes in your head,
and they’re flashing bright.”
. .. …
I look back, and I am reminded every reason my heart latched onto yours.
The reasons I denied for so long, now seem so very important.
Still, my chest swells and collapses within your eyes…
/ / /
“I was only looking for the treasure in the dark.”
Music/title: Boys & Girls; Martin Solveig
“Look at yourself.”
. .. …
If the result is the same,
does the time frame really matter?
I miss our childish innocence together-
The summer that felt…
If time is truly the only difference,
then why don’t we change it?
Music/title: Blank Tapes; From Indian Lakes
“And now it feels okay.”
… .. .
…Do you remember?
The world once stopped for us.
And I held it firmly in my hands. So invincible.
Nothing could change what you’d built….
…But I’m changing, aren’t I?
And the world doesn’t feel like it used to.
And I’m trying to breathe-
I’m trying to make myself fit in this world around me,
But everything is so unfamiliar…
And you breathe like you’ve always been here- Always so content;
Inventing the air that surrounds you…..
But do you remember,
..How to stop the world for us again?
Music/title: Riptide; Vance Joy
“Oh, oh, and they come unstuck.”
. .. ….
Go back five years ago,
and I’d never have taken it.
Go back a few years ago,
and I’d have definitely considered it.
Go back a week ago,
and I almost asked you for it.
You always find a cure before I find the disease.
….Can we do this again?
/ / /
And she’s been living on the highest shelf…
Music/title: Man Makes The Zoo; Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker
“As it comes, it goes.”
. .. …
Our ‘happily ever after’
Here’s to never forgetting how imminently we keep to our death.
Music/title: Tattooed Tears; The Front Bottoms
I hear her whisper,
“All I want is to want nothing.”
.. . ..
You wanted me to want it for so long.
Your dream- Your idea of ‘perfect beauty’ all wrapped up in a singular, well-formed package.
And then suddenly the dream is a forced reality.
And my formerly structured self perspective falls to pieces within my own hands.
You say, “No, that’s not right.”
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way…
“You can’t teach God anything.”
And I can’t tell you the reality brings my confidence to tears….
/ / /
There is no music when we kiss…
Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
This is my obsession.
. … ..
I watch your thirst for violence, and I wonder what it feels like…
Would the same ‘goodness’ be felt that most achieve when experiencing compassion?
What would it mean if you were ever to feel such a release?
A part of me wants to give it you.
I just imagine the sheer comfort you would feel within the grasp of pure torture,
And it pulls at my heart strings….
This is my insanity,
…Or perhaps I am just as evil as you.
/ / /
“This confession has meant nothing…”