Music/title: Selfish; The Reverb Junkie
“Well now you know,
Now you know.”
. .. ..
The beginning is always easy.
/ / /
Music/title: You + I (Snocker Cot Remix); Sheare
. . … ..
Something about this is just so alluring. The distant buildings immersed in fog.. Just lovely.
This one has actually been edited for a while now.
I think you’d all be astonished to learn how many photos *don’t* get posted. hah!
The last year I did my full 52 week project was the year I did best with editing and posting everything.
I’d like to do that again.
/ / /
Credit to takeSomeCrime for this awesome song.
The man has amazing taste in music, as well as some amazing dance moves.
Check him out. ;]
Music/title: Admit It!; Say Anything
I’ve never cried at a concert before.
I’ve never felt such a connection with a band as this.
Perhaps it’s his lyrics.
Perhaps it’s his own bi-polar disorder’s pertinence to my mother.
Maybe he makes me hate her just a little bit less..
Seventeen years, two days, and fifty-four songs later-
Max Bemis still performs each and every note as if it’s his first.
The emotion portrayed was breathtaking,
and with his final ‘Walk Through Hell’ I couldn’t help myself…
/ / /
Music/title: Say My Name (Emancipator Remix); ODESZA
. . .. .
Just tell him already.
…You know you want it.
Music/title: Atlas; Good Kid
. . .. ..
This is out of character.
But isn’t everything lately?
I mean honestly, what hasn’t changed?
I tell myself I will be complete when X happens, but X never comes, does it?
We never reach the end; The course never goes as planned..
And we’re not the character we intended to become.
/ / /
Music/title: Wasted On You (feat. ROZES); Louis Futon
. . … .. …..
Liberating doesn’t begin to cover it.
A twinge of denial, maybe.
I still can’t believe it all. Everything seems so surreal in our lives.
Did you plan this from the start?
A part of me believes I had nothing to do with it. That it was all thanks to others. The bad parts of my mind attempt to latch on- hopes of some form of sabotage..
..the other side.
The part that has drug me through all the blood and tears… That part is proud.
Look at how far you’ve come. ..Look at what you’ve done for yourself..
Aren’t you so happy now?
If I ever believed in a God,
now would be the time to thank him.
/ / /
Music/title: 1000 Doors; The Living Tombstone
. .. .
Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I miss this.
I miss the therapeutic nature of it all. I want to peel back the layers I have pasted onto myself; to escape the norm. This is what we aim for, right? The materialism. The cookie cutters, and decisive actions.
I can feel how close we are.
…Why can’t we grasp it?
Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
. . …
Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..
My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.
I am in control.
And you won’t ever take it from me again.
Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
. …. .
If only I’d known…
I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.
All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.
What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?
[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.
Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love.. ]
Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..
If only they knew.
/ / /
Music/title: Drowning World feat. Bjurman; Andrew Applepie
. … ..
Covering it up breaks my heart.
Preemptively, even more so.
But it it must be done.
Twenty-eight years, and I’m ready for change. I’ve grown too comfortable in this world, in this skin. I need new.
I need out of routine.
“So, so, so- “
It must be done.
/ / /
blurred views through the frame of a red door
Words. Wares. Woomph.
Simple truths and stories by an uncommon man.
Beach Soul Wanderlust Blog