Baby if you don’t stand for something, how can you ever stand at all… (You’ll be swept back by the fall)


Music/title: Atlas; Good Kid
_ _

 

“She said she was nothing but eager.”

. . .. ..

 

This is out of character.
But isn’t everything lately?

I mean honestly, what hasn’t changed?

I tell myself I will be complete when X happens, but X never comes, does it?
We never reach the end; The course never goes as planned..

 

And we’re not the character we intended to become.

/ / /

 
Then you said you said you said you said you said…

When everything has to turn, and march onward.. (Only fall if you’re sure that you fall forward)


Music/title: Changes; Mutemath
_ _

 

“I’m not understood.”

.. .. ……

 

Life has been one roller coaster after another lately.
I don’t know what’s up or down, and I’m not entirely sure that’s how I want it.

But that’s normal right?
The uncertainty?
Aren’t we always uncertain about something in our lives?

I’m unsure about this.

 

But, maybe we are overdue…

 

You know it makes my heart beat… … .. (Are you ready for it?)

02.13.16 -1
Music/title: Happy Up Here (Boys Noize Remix); Röyksopp
_ _

 

“My favorite record is playing again..”

. . . .. .

 

Sometimes I think of you.
I think of how it was, and how it could’ve been..
( …Wondering if you still visit? )

I often find myself wishing circumstances were different,
But we both know that can never be.

 

….Here’s to hoping hatred outlasts everything else.

 

/ / /

 
You know I really like it.

Please just forget my face… I’ll eradicate every memory of you. ( Oh, do you love this too? )

08.30.14 -1

Music/title: Strangerous; Miracles of Modern Science
_ _

 
It feels uncomfortable to miss you.

 

I go somewhere we used to explore together- I think of the moment we once shared, I remember how we used to be… And there it is again.  That longing for the friendship we used to have.

Part of me thinks it’d be okay if I tried to speak to you again.
[ Could I maybe swallow my gut instinct just this once..? ]
But then I remember the intensely crushing, hurtful feeling you left me standing with the last we spoke.
And I don’t. 

. .. . …..

 
“It hurts to know that all I may be left with is wondering everyday how you are doing, and never actually knowing.”
 

/ / /

 
The small, empty space of you is still inside me,
echoing in my everyday life.

The glove compartment is inaccurately named, and everybody knows it…

06.01.14 -4
Music/title: Title and Registration; Death Cab For Cutie
_ _
 

“I know you didn’t want to bake a cake.”

 .. .. …

 
I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to anything he does for me.

 
I feel like I am entitled to nothing in this world,
but everyone keeps telling me I deserve everything, if anyone does..
Maybe no one ever really deserves anything.
People keep telling me I do, though…

And they tell me I was right in ending that friendship.
And they tell me I’m a good person.
And that I’ve never tried to truly hurt anyone.
 
::sighs::
 

I don’t think this is about cake anymore…..

. .. . .. ..

 
“I know it’s hard sometimes,
and you want to be able to just pick something up for yourself,
or have something made for you.
And I know that’s hard to do,
but I will do whatever I can to make you happy.”

 

[ A response to a failed baking of a gluten free cake,
and the acquiring of a new one. ]