Label This Love; From Indian Lakes
“You belong in your own skin.”
Nothing to say this week, only to show…
/ / /
Music/title: Salt; Bad Suns
. . . .. . . … . .
I shouldn’t have cried.
I shouldn’t have given you hope.
I should’ve spoken every bitter word I swallowed.
But I listened.
Because that’s what you do, right?
That’s what’s polite?
[ I was merely being polite. ]
It didn’t affect me.
[ I didn’t wish to believe. ]
What do you do when the darkest parts of you are shaken?
…You hope to hell that you’re right.
Music/title: Brazil; Declan McKenna
. . ..
Each holiday with him feels more as it should’ve growing up.
/ / /
I miss creating my little frozen pieces of time.
Admittedly, I’m considering another photo project here-
Show of hands who would be in favor of this in the coming year?
Music/title: Say My Name (Emancipator Remix); ODESZA
. . .. .
Just tell him already.
…You know you want it.
Music/title: Atlas; Good Kid
. . .. ..
This is out of character.
But isn’t everything lately?
I mean honestly, what hasn’t changed?
I tell myself I will be complete when X happens, but X never comes, does it?
We never reach the end; The course never goes as planned..
And we’re not the character we intended to become.
/ / /
Music/title: Freaky Love; Captain Kidd
. . .. .
I see the remnants of the fire, but where is the spark?
The slow down is building.
The desire is fueling,
But I can’t seem to ignite.
“And what I need
Is your body
(Your freaky love)”
Music/title: Oceans; The Fray
. . . ..
Better and better it gets.
This is where I needed to be.
I want it all.
I want everything life took from me- All of it.
I refuse to feel guilt,
because I deserve this.
The hand life deals does not dictate the end result- don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise.
I should be dead.
But I am not.
So throw away those shitty cards.
Open a new deck- A new world.
Re-imagine life the way you want,
Music/title: 1000 Doors; The Living Tombstone
. .. .
Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I miss this.
I miss the therapeutic nature of it all. I want to peel back the layers I have pasted onto myself; to escape the norm. This is what we aim for, right? The materialism. The cookie cutters, and decisive actions.
I can feel how close we are.
…Why can’t we grasp it?
Music/title: Angela; The Lumineers
. . .
I just need to catch my breath,
then everything will be okay, right?
The dark parts of my brain are seeping through.
[ But you did it- you’re FREE. ]
Is that so?
I claim the void is supposed to be empty,
So why can’t I stop trying to fill it?
Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
. . …
Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..
My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.
I am in control.
And you won’t ever take it from me again.
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blurred views through the frame of a red door
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