Music/title: We Are The Sound; Alexisonfire
“Say you want it, you need it.”
If only my heart could harden to match yours.
Perhaps you saw the coldness inside of me first-
Why do I feel such a compulsion to watch you at your best?
Perhaps I am still trying to outdo the darkness living inside..
Something to truly brings me to my knees.
Isn’t that all I ever want?
To be your slave?
Through their death.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
/ / /
There is nothing but anger burning inside of me..
Music/title: Sleepless Club (WEKEED Boot); Lorde vs Flume
Take the pill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my old address. I’m sitting pretty on the throne.
There’s nothing more I want, except to be alone..
. . ….. … ..
“There was no real sense of life,
because she had nothing to contrast it with.
The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly.
The farther you run, the more God wants you back.
Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
/ / /
It’s a day for words and curves.
Where do you see yourself at the end of your life?
Comment for me.
Music/title: Undertow; Tool
“How could I let this bring me,
back to my knees?”
. .. …
Half the year spent trying not to die-
the other half desperately remembering how to live..
I’d love to promise you more.
To promise the new.
The oh so illusive happiness.
Can’t you see me trying?
Here’s to hoping everything current stays in this past…
Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”
To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?
Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?
[ yes. ]
I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.
[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]
To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….
True emotional ecstasy.
. . .
"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead."
Music/title: Man Makes The Zoo; Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker
“As it comes, it goes.”
. .. …
Our ‘happily ever after’
Here’s to never forgetting how imminently we keep to our death.
Music/title: Lovely Thing Suite: Knots; Watsky
“To burn, to worship, to mislead…”
… . …. … .
Demanding yet another relentless thud of hatred…
Don’t you love me? ..they say
Don’t you want to join us!? ..they cry
Ungrateful, weak-minded pieces of-
YOU ARE SO FAR FROM REALITY.
Want to know what it’s truly like on the other side?
/ / /
Here’s to coming up from the down-
To life, and the wondrous journey towards our death:
Watsky = x Infinity
Music/title: What’s Up, People?!; Maximum the Hormone
“Is your life boring? (Ikiru imi tsumaran ka?)
Are you trembling with rage?
. . ….
So you need me, do you?
You think your ‘suicide’ will make me love you again?
You’re a weak, pathetic excuse for a human, and I don’t need this shit.
Think I care about your worthless, menial life?
….You’re fucking insane.
/ / /
Henken-inken ningen funda ugokidase ore FIGHT…
Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
This is my obsession.
. … ..
I watch your thirst for violence, and I wonder what it feels like…
Would the same ‘goodness’ be felt that most achieve when experiencing compassion?
What would it mean if you were ever to feel such a release?
A part of me wants to give it you.
I just imagine the sheer comfort you would feel within the grasp of pure torture,
And it pulls at my heart strings….
This is my insanity,
…Or perhaps I am just as evil as you.
/ / /
“This confession has meant nothing…”
Music/title: Title and registration; Death Cab for Cutie
She knew. She didn’t know how, but when her mother’s door opened for the first time in days she just knew. She heard her mother’s footsteps move into the basement, and it was then that she heard the gasoline dripping off what once was her mother and onto the floor.
..It was then she knew she had to escape.
60 words of non-fiction; May 2011
Photo taken April, almost exactly a year later.
I don’t know how to forget,
And I don’t know how to remember..
Music/title: The Sadness Will Never End; Bring Me the Horizon
“And you’re trapped in your past,
Like it’s six feet under.”
. .. …
Don’t you think I fucking know..?
You think I haven’t tried to forgive and forget?
Go on- You tell me how to “fix it.”
You give me a quick and easy solution, step by step instructions now..
And I’ll fucking do it.
But don’t you tell me she can’t help it-
Don’t proclaim “Everyone can be saved” and “She’s still human.”
And DON’T fucking feed me that bullshit about your God..
Where was he when she nearly burned herself alive?
And when she was attempting murder, where was your God then?
. .. …
Think I’m going to die if I keep harboring these feelings? –So fucking be it!
Your God should fucking know I’ve tried to forgive that worthless, incompetent piece of shit.
Your “fix” isn’t going to save anyone…
And it sure as hell isn’t going to save me.