You gave up being good when you declared a state of war… (I DON’T BEHAVE, I DON’T BEHAVE, OH EH)


Music/title: Kill V. Maim; Grimes
_ _

 

“Oh, the fire, it’s alright.
The people touch it-
I can’t touch it, even though it’s mine.”

. .. …

 

I couldn’t think of a single trait of hers I carried within me.

Was I happy?
Would I really want to be like her?

I sure used to think so.
I haven’t thought of her in a while.
I haven’t needed to.

She could be dead with all the others as far as I know.
…Wouldn’t that be a treat.

Do you think most daughters wish their mothers dead today?

 

Can you even stomach the concept?

/ / /

 
And I do what I can.

I’m sick of words that hang above my head- What about the kid? (It’s time the kid got FREE)

01-13-17-0
Music/title: Sleepless Club (WEKEED Boot); Lorde vs Flume
_ _

 

Take the pill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my old address. I’m sitting pretty on the throne.
There’s nothing more I want, except to be alone..

. . ….. … ..

 

“There was no real sense of life,
because she had nothing to contrast it with.
The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly.
The farther you run, the more God wants you back.

Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”

~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

 

/ / /

 

It’s a day for words and curves.
Where do you see yourself at the end of your life?

Comment for me.

 

To learn to whisper and to scream (The whisper justifies the scream); To let each yearning finger breathe.. (NO, NOTHING LIVES UNLESS IT BREATHES!)

08.31.16
Music/title: Lovely Thing Suite: Knots; Watsky
_ _

 

“To burn, to worship, to mislead…”

… . …. … .

 

Every moment-
Demanding yet another relentless thud of hatred…

Don’t you love me? ..they say
Don’t you want to join us!? ..they cry
 

Fucking pathetic;
Ungrateful, weak-minded pieces of-
YOU ARE SO FAR FROM REALITY.
Want to know what it’s truly like on the other side?

 

…Join me.

/ / /

 

Here’s to coming up from the down-
To life, and the wondrous journey towards our death:

Watsky = x Infinity

And your compliments look good on me… (But no one knows you better)

Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
_ _

 

This is my obsession.

. … ..

 

I watch your thirst for violence, and I wonder what it feels like…
Would the same ‘goodness’ be felt that most achieve when experiencing compassion?
What would it mean if you were ever to feel such a release?
 

A part of me wants to give it you.

I just imagine the sheer comfort you would feel within the grasp of pure torture,
And it pulls at my heart strings….

 

This is my insanity,
perhaps.

 

…Or perhaps I am just as evil as you.

 

/ / /

 
“This confession has meant nothing…”

‘Cause nobody knows it better, than the girl in the corner with the scarlet letter…

02.27.16 -0

Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
_ _

 

“So take a chance,
Take a chance.”

.. … .

 

Stop.  Rewind.  And reorder everything.
 

Is this not all you ever thought it would be?
This beautiful life you’ve created.
The world everyone envies….
 

Is it enough?

[ Has it ever really been so? ]

 

Now:
Let’s escape these all encompassing thoughts;
Keep them from slowly, surely dissecting from the inside out.

You think you want to preserve this life?

 

 

Oh, my dear love,
You’ve never wanted to preserve anything….

 

If I can pretend, I don’t depend… (I can deny, deny denial)

10.19.15 -000
Music/title: Invisible Monsters; Motion City Soundtrack
_ _

 

“Yet when push comes to shove and all the above,
I decide to live the lie.”

. . .. . …. .

 

I’d like to say I have it all figure out,
But you know better than anyone that’s not true.

. . .

 

Why am I here… Why are any of us?
Everyone thinks they have the answers….
But what makes me so comfortable admitting that I don’t?

I used to watch the world around me.
I watched everyone live encompassed in their safe, warm little bubbles of life.
I watched them stuck in their day-in-day-out routine,
When, in reality, I felt I was one of the few people truly living…

What made me so different?
Because I knew how harsh and cruel the world could actually be?
[ …Does my strength make you weak? ]

 

I lost a friend because I felt them inferior.
I lost a friend because I loved them enough to tell them the truth.
I lost a friend because that truth brought them fear…

 

 

Maybe this is how it always ends.
Maybe this is how it will always be.
But, again….

 

…..What makes me so comfortable admitting that?