Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
“I’ll grow up and get sad.”
. …. .
If only I’d known…
I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.
All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.
What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?
[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.
Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love.. ]
Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..
If only they knew.
/ / /
It keeps me jump jump jumpin’ and-ah..
Music/title: Believer; Imagine Dragons
“Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be.”
… . .
and Again. and Again.
It’s what you want, right?
Your goals quickly coming to an end.
Who will you be now?
What will inflict the pain you so desire?
“You made me a,
You made me a believer.”
/ / /
Never ending shifting.
The changes are so frequent lately I can’t keep up.
But we’re happy if we’re not paying too close attention to the detail, right?
I do believe I am.
Music/title: Phantoms and Friends; Old Man Canyon
“I know all your names,
Pointing different ways,
Let me out.”
. . .. .. ..
Up, and up, and up,
And down we go.
….Ist das nicht immer so?
/ / /
So now it’s time to see the cards you’re dealt..
Music/title: We Are The Sound; Alexisonfire
“Say you want it, you need it.”
If only my heart could harden to match yours.
Perhaps you saw the coldness inside of me first-
Why do I feel such a compulsion to watch you at your best?
Perhaps I am still trying to outdo the darkness living inside..
Something to truly brings me to my knees.
Isn’t that all I ever want?
To be your slave?
Through their death.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
/ / /
There is nothing but anger burning inside of me..
Music/title: Boys & Girls; Martin Solveig
“Look at yourself.”
. .. …
If the result is the same,
does the time frame really matter?
I miss our childish innocence together-
The summer that felt…
If time is truly the only difference,
then why don’t we change it?
Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
“So take a chance,
Take a chance.”
.. … .
Stop. Rewind. And reorder everything.
Is this not all you ever thought it would be?
This beautiful life you’ve created.
The world everyone envies….
Is it enough?
[ Has it ever really been so? ]
Let’s escape these all encompassing thoughts;
Keep them from slowly, surely dissecting from the inside out.
You think you want to preserve this life?
Oh, my dear love,
You’ve never wanted to preserve anything….