Music/title: Changes; Mutemath
“I’m not understood.”
.. .. ……
Life has been one roller coaster after another lately.
I don’t know what’s up or down, and I’m not entirely sure that’s how I want it.
But that’s normal right?
Aren’t we always uncertain about something in our lives?
I’m unsure about this.
But, maybe we are overdue…
Music/title: Go With It; TOKiMONSTA
“Ay oh, let it go-
See the big picture
Explode- Like a light bulb,
Let it unfold.
Just go, go with it.”
/ / /
…Does this make me weak?
Music/title: We Own The Night; Dance Gavin Dance
“Just fake it through the day,
And the night is your god.”
.. .. .
[ Is this what you wanted?
..Do you feel better now?!
Were you ever really happy to begin with? ]
….What happens when the answers are just as hard?
. . .
“Do it again, do it again, do it again, now grow.”
Music/title: Transition (Dillon Francis/DWNTWN Remix); Dillon Francis
“I really should have seen it, happened all the time…”
. .. …
So desperate for that simple human connection,
yet so afraid of failure surely to achieve in the consequence…
[ Maybe you’re not as strong as you thought after all. ]
Music/title: I Don’t Care If You’re Contagious; Pierce the Veil
“I’m gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin…”
.. . .. ..
The weight of this life proves heavier with every single breath.
….How long before it’s finally too much?
Music/title: Tyler; The Toadies
“I will be with her tonight!”
. .. . ..
I thought I was so, so sure of it all..
Is it actually necessary to go through every single desire?
…Will this achieve my sense of self-fulfillment?
I’d like to think not….
. .. . ..
“I gave up that life for her.”
Maybe this is what he meant.
I thought finding someone to embrace that life was all that mattered…
And then I thought differently. I thought I was wrong.
….I fucking hope I haven’t been right from the start.
/ / /
I hear the fear in her voice…
Music/title: Stay Outside; From Indian Lakes
.. . .. …
I suppose I should say a few words to mark the occasion…..
…But all I feel is a sense of dread.
Music/title: Release; Imagine Dragons
You’ve always thought so…
But what if this isn’t the right solution- What if it doesn’t ‘fix’ anything?
[ What if nothing ever fixes it... ]
Then what will you do?
[ If you never feel complete; if nothing is ever finished.. ]
If you put everything you have into this part of life,
And you’re left with less than before– You think you have all the right answers?
…We’re about to find out.
Music/title: Sleeping Limbs; From Indian Lakes
“So can I ask you to leave me alone?”
. … .
I thought it was an accident- Must’ve been ..A misspoken choice of words.
But the more I thought about it, maybe it’s true?
Maybe that’s why I keep coming back….
So here I am.
And here is where I always find myself.
…Where are you?