[04/05] Forget my jealously, you swallowed the demons on your own. There’s nothing left for me… (Where did I go wrong?)

06.09.16 -3
Music/title: We Own The Night; Dance Gavin Dance
_ _

 

“Just fake it through the day,
And the night is your god.”

.. .. .

 

[ Is this what you wanted?
..Do you feel better now?!
Were you ever really happy to begin with?
]

….What happens when the answers are just as hard?

. . .

 

“Do it again, do it again, do it again, now grow.”

 

And she runs, and she waits… ( And I wait )

01.23.16 -1
Music/title: Tyler; The Toadies
_ _

 

“I will be with her tonight!”

. .. . ..

 

I thought I was so, so sure of it all..
Is it actually necessary to go through every single desire?
…Will this achieve my sense of self-fulfillment?

I’d like to think not….

. .. . ..

 
“I gave up that life for her.”

Maybe this is what he meant.
I thought finding someone to embrace that life was all that mattered…
And then I thought differently.   I thought I was wrong.

 

….I fucking hope I haven’t been right from the start.

 

/ / /

 
I hear the fear in her voice…

I’ve let me down, down, down, down…. (Oh let me have release)

03.14.15 -19
Music/title: Release; Imagine Dragons
_ _

 

You’ve always thought so…
But what if this isn’t the right solution- What if it doesn’t ‘fix’ anything?
[ What if nothing ever fixes it... ]

Then what will you do?
[ If you never feel complete; if nothing is ever finished.. ]
If you put everything you have into this part of life,
And you’re left with less than before– You think you have all the right answers?

 

…We’re about to find out.