Look; Critics in the sea, light beneath the deep.. (Just to get a taste)

Music/title: Some Assembly Required; Abhi The Nomad (ft. Foster)
_ _


“Is my pleasure, divine center.”

. .


Three deep, so far so good.

It’s different this time.
Almost, simple..
Everything is getting less complicated.

Your work.
Your health.
Your love.

I’m afraid to get too comfortable.
Seems there’s always something to drag me down.

But.. Maybe not.
Maybe that’s what they mean by growth?
We can only grow from experiences.
We can only learn from living-
From the success to the catastrophic failures, we achieve…


That’s just it;
They are all achievements.

And in the end, it all accumulates to the same:


…We are the stuff of stars.


And I’ve fallen for you… (You’re nothing, you’re nothing)

03.12.16 -0
Music/title: Let’s Fall In Love Some More; Al Bairre
_ _


“…You’re nothing like me.”

. . … .


You are right.
You were there with me through a lot of fucked up shit- But we are separate people.
With separate interests.
And despite how much you love me,
I don’t think you really like me as a person.

You don’t like any of the people I am friends with.
Or the people I date.
Or the choices I make in life-
What is left but the bond from being held hostage together?

I stopped talking to you years ago.
You are the one that wanted to start this again, if you remember.

So maybe it’s better this way after all…


/ / /

Forever, and not at all..

02.07.15 [20/52] And your wrist got bruised, and you wanted better love… Well, it’s sleeping in your bedroom.

Music/title: Walking The Dog; Fun.
_ _


“I’ve met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging
on the wall behind him, and God asks me, “Why?”  Why did I cause so much pain?
Didn’t I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?
Can’t I see how we’re all manifestations of love?

I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God’s got this all wrong.
We are not special.  We are not crap or trash, either.  We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.
And God says, “No, that’s not right.”

Yeah.  Well.  Whatever.  You can’t teach God anything.”

~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club


/ / /

Hold on, stay on my side, don’t go…

09.27.14 [1/52] Take me out of your head, feed me luminol instead- Of your thoughts, of your skin.. ( I’m fine, I’m fine! )

Music/title: Luminol; Miracles of Modern Science
_ _

The time has finally come…

. . .. . ….

A piece of my life was once filled with photography.
It helped me grow, and become the person I am finally proud to say I am today.
Photography helped me realize that not only could I create things to share; that others would love, but that I could create goals- Actually keeping and enjoying them in the process.  There were many reasons I stopped after my goal was achieved, but I find myself once again feeling a similar void in my life..
That something is missing.

My days are going by too quickly to remember,
and I feel regret with every un-captured moment I let slip by.

So here I am.
Middle of the year.  52 weeks.  Day 1:

I always feel a self-portrait is in order for the first photo.
This, my wonderful and incredibly missed friends.. Is only the beginning of what’s in store.



A boy with a coin, he crammed in his jeans. Then making a wish, he tossed in the sea…

05.01.14 -1
Music/title: Boy With A Coin; Iron & Wine
_ _
We crawled into the back of his car, and I suddenly remembered last year..
The way I had crossed that ever so thinning line between us being ‘just friends’ and ‘something more.’ I threw my things aside and laid my head against his chest. This was where I belonged. With him. ..It was always with him, and it was never enough. He played this song, knowing I’d fallen in love with him to it. The glass was starting to fog, and I could see the clear reflection of the face he’d drawn for me last year.
Everything was so perfect...
He sat up, held my hands in his, and I could feel every emotion swell up inside me..
.. .. .. ..
“Does this song still give you butterflies?”
[ Yes… Do you still get them with me? ]
[ I can never see them anymore.. When do you feel them? ]
“All the time, Bettina.
…because I love you so much.”

… .. . ..
I remember feeling sad for a moment.
Just a brief moment, thinking back to when I could see his every emotion so clearly. I missed that. It made me sad knowing that he still felt them and I couldn’t see. But then he spoke to me, and in his hands he held out a small box.. And on his face I saw the butterflies. Once again I saw his emotions, and the way he loved the ever living out of me as he asked me to spend the rest of my life by his side.
It was you, Arden.
Whether I realized it or not, it’s always been you..


Fuck you if you love a car for it’s paint job; love you if you love a car for the road trips. (Show me the miles on your arms..)

03.08.13. -2
Music/title: Sloppy Seconds; Watsky
_ _
Let’s throw everything to the wind. Let’s say, ‘Fuck it all!’ Let’s evolve; let the chips fall where they may.
And never question the actions we have with the best intentions.
You want to feel invincible?
Just be..
… .. . .. . .
“But don’t paint me like the good guy ‘cause every time I write
I get to choose the angle that you view me, and select the nicest light.”

~ Tiny Glowing Screens (Part 2); Watsky