Remember last year when you told me, to always stay here and never leave me.. (The light from your eyes made it feel like we-e-e-e were dancing in the moonlight)


Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
_ _

 

“These will be a life long stories.”

. . …

 

Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..

My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.

I am in control.

 

And you won’t ever take it from me again.
 

Daddy, I don’t wanna grow up anyway- Grown ups are all sad… (Doesn’t matter where I come from anyway)


Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
_ _

 

“I’ll grow up and get sad.”

. …. .

 

If only I’d known…
 

I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.

Not me.

All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.

What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?

.

[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.

Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love..
]

Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..

 

If only they knew.

/ / /

 
It keeps me jump jump jumpin’ and-ah..

Oh, and what’s the world becoming? No.. (What have we- What have we done?)


Music/title: Drowning World feat. Bjurman; Andrew Applepie
_ _

 

“So, so, so- “

. … ..

 

Covering it up breaks my heart.
Preemptively, even more so.

But it it must be done.
Twenty-eight years, and I’m ready for change. I’ve grown too comfortable in this world, in this skin. I need new.
I need out of routine.

“So, so, so- “

 

It must be done.

/ / /

 

I highly recommend this song.
A big thank you to Casey Neistat for introducing me to the love that is Andrew Applepie. <3

You gave up being good when you declared a state of war… (I DON’T BEHAVE, I DON’T BEHAVE, OH EH)


Music/title: Kill V. Maim; Grimes
_ _

 

“Oh, the fire, it’s alright.
The people touch it-
I can’t touch it, even though it’s mine.”

. .. …

 

I couldn’t think of a single trait of hers I carried within me.

Was I happy?
Would I really want to be like her?

I sure used to think so.
I haven’t thought of her in a while.
I haven’t needed to.

She could be dead with all the others as far as I know.
…Wouldn’t that be a treat.

Do you think most daughters wish their mothers dead today?

 

Can you even stomach the concept?

/ / /

 
And I do what I can.

My life, my love, my drive, it came from… Pain! (You made me a, you made me a believer, believer)


Music/title: Believer; Imagine Dragons
_ _

 

“Don’t you tell me what you think that I can be.”

… . .

 

Again.
and Again. and Again.
It’s what you want, right?
Your goals quickly coming to an end.

Who will you be now?
What will inflict the pain you so desire?

. . 

“You made me a,
You made me a believer.”

/ / /

 
Never ending shifting.
The changes are so frequent lately I can’t keep up.
But we’re happy if we’re not paying too close attention to the detail, right?

Happy…

 

Yes.
I do believe I am.

Lady, running down to the riptide, taken away to the dark side… (I wanna be your left hand man)

10-01-16-10
Music/title: Riptide; Vance Joy
_ _

 

“Oh, oh, and they come unstuck.”

. .. ….

 

Go back five years ago,
and I’d never have taken it.

Go back a few years ago,
and I’d have definitely considered it.

Go back a week ago,
and I almost asked you for it.

 

 

You always find a cure before I find the disease.
….Can we do this again?

/ / /

 
And she’s been living on the highest shelf…