I’ve got this poison running deep in my mind, my mind.. (I know you think it’s alright)


Music/title: Wasted On You (feat. ROZES); Louis Futon
_ _

 

“I’m wasted on you.”

. . … .. …..

 

Liberating doesn’t begin to cover it.
A twinge of denial, maybe.
I still can’t believe it all. Everything seems so surreal in our lives.

Did you plan this from the start?

 

A part of me believes I had nothing to do with it. That it was all thanks to others. The bad parts of my mind attempt to latch on- hopes of some form of sabotage..

..but…

..the other side.
The part that has drug me through all the blood and tears… That part is proud.
Look at how far you’ve come. ..Look at what you’ve done for yourself..

Aren’t you so happy now?

.
 

If I ever believed in a God,
now would be the time to thank him.

/ / /

 
We keep it going just like we always do, we do..

Daddy, I don’t wanna grow up anyway- Grown ups are all sad… (Doesn’t matter where I come from anyway)


Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
_ _

 

“I’ll grow up and get sad.”

. …. .

 

If only I’d known…
 

I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.

Not me.

All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.

What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?

.

[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.

Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love..
]

Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..

 

If only they knew.

/ / /

 
It keeps me jump jump jumpin’ and-ah..

Nothing gonna get me in my world…. (I wanna get me free!)


Music/title: Dreams; Beck
_ _

 

“Ahhhh, here we are…
Running circles around around around around.”

. … ..

 

I’ve never been quite this close.
Just the taste of it- Christ.
I’ve wanted this for so long.
Dreamed about it.
Prayed, even.

All pieces are fitting so perfectly.
My puzzle.
My world.
My bubble- Almost complete.

So much work;
So many awful experiences just to get to this moment.
I truly have dreamed of a place to call home.

…And it’s finally within my grasp.

/ / /

 

Oh just you wait and see.
::smirks::