10.10.12 [288] And I’m feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away.. Do you really wanna know what’s next?

10.10.12
 
Music/title: E.T. Feels Starry Eyed (Club Mix); Kap Slap
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I can see it all in his face. The hurt. The want. All of his emotions right there in front of me, laid out on this tiny platter. Everyone tells me I shouldn’t feel bad, but I do. I feel guilty in some way, but, more, I just know exactly how he’s feeling, and that part is what really gets me.
 
He’ll be fine. As long as I continue on being the same friend as I have been, he’ll be fine.
 
::nods to self::
 
/ / /
 
This was more appropriate than any photo I could’ve taken with my camera.
 

10.09.12 [287] They say, “Be afraid, you’re not like the others.” Next thing, we’re touching.. We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it.

10.09.12
 
Music/title: E.T. Feels Starry Eyed (Club Mix); Kap Slap
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“You just look so vulnerable..”
 
Arden admitted he loves me. We’d both been awake for over 24 hours. He didn’t know what to do with all the emotions he was feeling, and I tried to help.. but I really don’t think there is anything to do.
 
I admitted I felt bad. He said that’s exactly what he didn’t want. But how could I not? ..with Erica.. knowing what it feels like to love someone and knowing they don’t love you back? It was tearing me up inside. I wanted to give him everything he wanted right then. To kiss him and hold him and, just, everything.. But for all the wrong reasons. Selfish reasons, possibly- to make myself feel better about the situation. I feel as though I dug my own grave here, but it’s never just one person.
 
I’m not entirely blaming myself for once.
And I don’t know what to do.
 
 
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A person does have have a certain vulnerable, naked look to them when they deprive themselves of sleep. Whether or not they actually are naked.
 

…it’s in the eyes.