She said, “Drink that love don’t demand it. ‘Cause baby I can’t stand it when you look so pathetic…”


Music/title: Young Robot; Dance Gavin Dance
_ _

 

“Feeling like a savage,
You know I gotta have it.”

. ..

 

I thought I would enjoy firing her.
It was so justified, you know?

But here I am.
Drinking with Dance Gavin Dance.. Reminiscing in 2013.

What am I doing?

*sigh*

 

Two more months.
I can keep it together for two more months. ..Right?

/ / /

 
It’s been long time coming..

I’m sick of words that hang above my head- What about the kid? (It’s time the kid got FREE)

01-13-17-0
Music/title: Sleepless Club (WEKEED Boot); Lorde vs Flume
_ _

 

Take the pill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my old address. I’m sitting pretty on the throne.
There’s nothing more I want, except to be alone..

. . ….. … ..

 

“There was no real sense of life,
because she had nothing to contrast it with.
The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly.
The farther you run, the more God wants you back.

Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”

~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

 

/ / /

 

It’s a day for words and curves.
Where do you see yourself at the end of your life?

Comment for me.

 

It’s only water, It’s only fire… (It’s only love)

02-27-16-2
Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
_ _

 

“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”

. …..

 

To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?

Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?

[ yes. ]

I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..

The murderers.
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.

.

[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]

.
 

To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….

 

True emotional ecstasy.

. . .

 

"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead." 

If I can pretend, I don’t depend… (I can deny, deny denial)

10.19.15 -000
Music/title: Invisible Monsters; Motion City Soundtrack
_ _

 

“Yet when push comes to shove and all the above,
I decide to live the lie.”

. . .. . …. .

 

I’d like to say I have it all figure out,
But you know better than anyone that’s not true.

. . .

 

Why am I here… Why are any of us?
Everyone thinks they have the answers….
But what makes me so comfortable admitting that I don’t?

I used to watch the world around me.
I watched everyone live encompassed in their safe, warm little bubbles of life.
I watched them stuck in their day-in-day-out routine,
When, in reality, I felt I was one of the few people truly living…

What made me so different?
Because I knew how harsh and cruel the world could actually be?
[ …Does my strength make you weak? ]

 

I lost a friend because I felt them inferior.
I lost a friend because I loved them enough to tell them the truth.
I lost a friend because that truth brought them fear…

 

 

Maybe this is how it always ends.
Maybe this is how it will always be.
But, again….

 

…..What makes me so comfortable admitting that?

 

08.22.15 [48/52] Do you recall, not long ago- We would walk on the sidewalk… (Innocent, remember?)

08.22.15Music/title: Lean On (Major Lazer x DJ Snake feat. MØ cover); Miracles of Modern Science
_ _

 

“We would only hold on to let go.”

. .. . …

 

[ Was it comfortable?
…Did you revel in the slight attempt of self destruction? ]

 . . .

I wonder- Am I merely a fake?
Like everyone else- Only after my own gratification?
I used to watch you pass by; judging so harshly the perfect sphere you found yourself within..

 

Hurting others for my own self fulfillment.
…How much better could I truly be?
 

/ / /

 
Blow a kiss, fire a gun…