Music/title: Drowning World feat. Bjurman; Andrew Applepie
“So, so, so- “
. … ..
Covering it up breaks my heart.
Preemptively, even more so.
But it it must be done.
Twenty-eight years, and I’m ready for change. I’ve grown too comfortable in this world, in this skin. I need new.
I need out of routine.
“So, so, so- “
It must be done.
/ / /
I highly recommend this song.
A big thank you to Casey Neistat for introducing me to the love that is Andrew Applepie. <3
Music/title: Just a Like Song; Al Bairre
(Anywhere you wanna be)”
. . … .
[ But I’m not qualified for anything. ]
“You’re always saying that.”
[ What am I qualified for then? ]
Good or bad.
Right or wrong.
I hate choice.
I want to be told what to do-
I want subservience;
To be a slave.
But, darling… You wear the mask so well.
/ / /
Thank you, Al Bairre. <3
Music/title: Oh Devil; Electric Guest
“And deep inside,
I’m sure I got here all by myself.”
. . .
Two years since I’ve been here.
Surely you’d think I was scared,
But quite the contrary.
I know myself better these days than ever before-
What’s to be scared of?
I felt like taking something more.. harsh.
A bit of rough edges, to match…
What kind of girl are you now?
Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”
To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?
Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?
[ yes. ]
I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.
[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]
To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….
True emotional ecstasy.
. . .
"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead."
Music/title: Father; The Front Bottoms
“I’ll do the pushups,
I’ll wear the makeup.”
.. .. …
It feels almost as if I’ve misplaced the entire door to my home-
Left wandering aimlessly with keys in hand.
It’s coming back.
Slowly, but surely…
..I’m finding the door to myself again.
/ / /
I’ll do whatever he wants all night.
Music/title: Lone Digger; Caravan Palace
“Your head has no right to say no- Tonight it’s “Ready, set, go!”
. .. …
I can’t recommend this song and music video enough..
There really is just nothing quite like electronic swing music.
And there really is no one that does it quite like Caravan Palace.
Things have been awful.
I am awful.
But I suppose we are forever moving forward.
Even when we don’t want to…
Who the fuck am I lately?
Even I don’t know.
Music/title: Polaroid; Imagine Dragons
“Your story sounds so amazing- I’m so proud of you for making your way through so many struggles and coming out on top.”
.. . .. ..
Just when you least expect it, there life goes- Blindsiding everything you know.
And just like that, everything changes…
/ / /
And I am the color of boom..
Music/title: Cardiac Arrest; Bad Suns
The unexpected- This is why we love.
. .. . . .
I wasn’t going to ask… I didn’t think you’d remember
There I sat, quietly trying to think of the song that I wanted so very badly.
I tried putting myself back in front of the stage- Surrounded by alcohol and carelessly made socialization.
I was so mad at myself for not remembering to write it down or look it up that night.
Moments away from giving up, I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask….
I hadn’t been that taken aback from you in so long…
You merely snapped your fingers, threw both feet firmly down, and grinned at me..
.. .. . ..
…this. These are the reasons we love.
It’s the little things… Such as someone simply knowing you so well as to look up and remember the name of a song- Keeping it a secret, because they know somewhere down the line you’re GOING to remember. Or you’re going to NEED it. And it will just be there.
Like it was never gone in the first place.
/ / /
High voltage in her lips, I’ll try my best….
Music/title: Kind; Eli August And The Abandoned Buildings
On one hand, I find myself wishing I had more free time in my day to day life.
On the other.. I really do enjoy the busy feeling of moving from one thing to the next.
I remember two years back, that’s all my life was.
Event after event after event.. It was never enough for me.
It always gave a sense of purpose.
As if to say, “Yes. I am absolutely living my life to the fullest!”
.. . . .
But it’s when taking these photos that I really feel alive. [ ..Snap ! ]
And that moment is forever etched into my life. No other moment will ever be like that one..
/ / /
Take me down to where the river bends..