Music/title: Caviar Dreams; Al Bairre (Feat. PHFat)
“Lead me through your harmony;
We’ll sew this so your soul can breathe…”
.. .. .
It surely is a dream.
Nothing could feel this good.
For the first time in my life it doesn’t hurt.
I’m not inflamed.
It doesn’t itch. Or feel dry.
My skin isn’t covered in sores and blisters from my moments of weakness.
For the first time in my life I feel human.
To think, an eleven year old changed my life.
..What were you doing at eleven?
If you’d told me 15 years ago that I’d have this level of peace with my disease,
I’d say you were fucking nuts.
I wish I could meet Lani Lazzari,
If only to fully explain the life-changing-impact her invention has had on me.
My skin can feel like home.
/ / /
You’d been wading in the deep, dancing through your downfall…
Music/title: Freaky Love; Captain Kidd
Recurring Siamese dream-
Illuminate hallucinations burnt into the back of your mind..”
. . .. .
I see the remnants of the fire, but where is the spark?
The slow down is building.
The desire is fueling,
But I can’t seem to ignite.
“And what I need
Is your body
(Your freaky love)”
Music/title: Youth (Adventure Club Remix); Foxes
“These fading beats;
A thousand dreams.”
. . .
Reliving memories, are we?
[ Yes. ]
[ Nothing. ]
[ I need something. ]
You never quit, do you.
..Here we go again.
/ / /
For the comments, compliments, and my own sanity. <3
Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”
To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?
Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?
[ yes. ]
I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.
[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]
To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….
True emotional ecstasy.
. . .
"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead."
Music/title: Say My Name (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
This is my obsession.
. … ..
I watch your thirst for violence, and I wonder what it feels like…
Would the same ‘goodness’ be felt that most achieve when experiencing compassion?
What would it mean if you were ever to feel such a release?
A part of me wants to give it you.
I just imagine the sheer comfort you would feel within the grasp of pure torture,
And it pulls at my heart strings….
This is my insanity,
…Or perhaps I am just as evil as you.
/ / /
“This confession has meant nothing…”
Music/title: For The Silent; Say Anything
“It’s not much better than death,
Giving up on everything.”
. .. … .
I keep thinking I’ll get lucky.
That just the right person must be out there, somewhere…
I am hopeful. I am nostalgic. (I am lonely.)
And it consumes me.
Why should I care?
Why should I need them to ‘complete’ myself?
[ Because you’re weak. ]
Faith in humanity… To think that people call this a strength….
It’s a fucking hindrance to my sanity.
. … …
Maybe he made me this way,
Maybe this is how I’ve always been..
…Does the road traveled really change this outcome?