But it’s collisions we need to remind us that we’re alive…

011
Music/title: This Ain’t No Place For Animals; Hands Like Houses
_ _

 

“Tear back the skin to find,
to chase a pulse back home.”

.. . …

 

[ Life is just so goddamn hard… Every time I get to the good parts, it feels like something else takes them away. I feel one day I won’t be able to handle anything else, and that I’ll just break down. ]

 
“Then I will pick your pieces back up and put you back together.
Because I will never let you give up.  And even if you can’t believe in yourself,
I will make you believe in the me that believes in you.”

 

/ / /

 
And we still know nothing…

You know it makes my heart beat… … .. (Are you ready for it?)

02.13.16 -1
Music/title: Happy Up Here (Boys Noize Remix); Röyksopp
_ _

 

“My favorite record is playing again..”

. . . .. .

 

Sometimes I think of you.
I think of how it was, and how it could’ve been..
( …Wondering if you still visit? )

I often find myself wishing circumstances were different,
But we both know that can never be.

 

….Here’s to hoping hatred outlasts everything else.

 

/ / /

 
You know I really like it.

And she runs, and she waits… ( And I wait )

01.23.16 -1
Music/title: Tyler; The Toadies
_ _

 

“I will be with her tonight!”

. .. . ..

 

I thought I was so, so sure of it all..
Is it actually necessary to go through every single desire?
…Will this achieve my sense of self-fulfillment?

I’d like to think not….

. .. . ..

 
“I gave up that life for her.”

Maybe this is what he meant.
I thought finding someone to embrace that life was all that mattered…
And then I thought differently.   I thought I was wrong.

 

….I fucking hope I haven’t been right from the start.

 

/ / /

 
I hear the fear in her voice…

09.05.15 [50/52] For what have I been living for? …When will I find out the answer- (An answer that is only for you)

09.05.15
Music/title: Let Me Hear; Fear, and Loathing In Las Vegas
_ _

 

“Let me hear, Let me hear, Let me hear…”

.. . …
 

On some level I think you knew I wouldn’t come back.
 

So I found myself craving help more than my own self destruction.
And that- That’s when you really surprised me….

 

 

 

[ “…Could you feel me screaming out?” ]
 

08.29.15 [49/52] What will we do when we get old, will we walk down the same road? (…Will you be there, by my side?)

08.29.15
Music/title: Lean On (Major Lazer x DJ Snake feat. MØ cover); Miracles of Modern Science
_ _

 

“The nights are long,
Longing for you to come home…”

. . ..

 

How am I supposed to do this?
How am I supposed to give up my time with you for them?
I was so ready not long ago,
And now I’m doubting every urge within myself.

 

Something tells me I will just know when it’s right, but what if I’m too late?
What if my mind is ready, but my body has far past its limitations?

I fucking hate this.
I hate the urges.  I hate the pressure.  I don’t even fucking WANT them.
YOU are the only reason I want any of this…
Am I so wrong to be terrified that they will take you away?

 

 
Then who would I be?
Surely not the person that created this ‘love’…..
 

/ / /

 
All we need is somebody to lean on..