01.03.15 [15/52] And I don’t care if you’re sick, I don’t care if you’re contagious.. (Can you chase away the darkness?)

Music/title: I Don’t Care If You’re Contagious; Pierce the Veil
_ _

Is it really their fault?

. .. . . . ..

I’d like to believe not.  I’d like to believe the best in everyone..
But that’s never the case.  It’s always the fucking same.  [ …Such fucking pathetic pieces of shit. ]

Sometimes I tell myself I’m helping them, but really… I’m not.  I’m just using them.
[ Everyone’s gotta get to the top somehow, right? ]


They dug their own graves…  Now I’m just burying them.

12.27.14 [14/52] She said, “Paint a picture on me, throw your dress up, and your heart away.”

12.21.14 -8
Music/title: Besitos; Pierce the Veil
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“I felt like destroying something beautiful.”

. .. . . ..

What is it really?

Is it this body? [ You tell me I’m beautiful, therefor I must be. ]
What about this photo? ..Is this what beauty looks like? [ I think it’s beautiful, therefor it must be. ]
Sometimes I get the urge to bite into flesh until I taste the blood on my lips.


Now that.

..Wouldn’t that be beautiful.

/ / /

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine.

Oh, my sweet little girl.. Hold your mouth and you’ll be alright.

Music/title: Currents Convulsive; Pierce the Veil
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I was going to post this Sunday morning. I was going to say this pair of underwear started everything that happened over the course of this weekend. But I know better.
Sometimes we have to break ourselves entirely to build back up to where we need to be.
I needed this more than either of us had even begun to realize.
Now everything feels as though it has been put back in place.
I feel at home again, and I wonder how I ever got as far away as I did..
/ / /
Awake for over 30 hours when I’d taken this.
It fit perfectly, and, if I’d had more time, I would’ve posted then.

04.15.12 [110] I like your starry eyes. They yell, “Surprise, surprise!” I’m in love, but not for long..

Music/title: Currents Convulsive; Pierce The Veil
_ _

“Please understand me when I’d rather see you dead
Than live without me, so thirsty for more.”

I should’ve known. A small part of me fell out of love with him when he told me it never occurred to him that I’d want help moving away from my family. I should’ve pushed him to grow up then. I should’ve confronted the doubts I was having. But I loved him. I fucking loved him so much that I was choosing to look past his flaws, serious flaws, so that I could be with him. So things would work between us. I needed things to work between us because I fucking loved him, and couldn’t handle the idea of having to stop.
Well, congratulations, Bettina. Here you are. Your heart split wide open and bleeding in your hands as we speak. Was it worth it? Do you feel like an adult now that you’ve experienced this? It’s what you want, right? To hurt?
You haven’t hurt nearly enough, girl.
/ / /
Currents Convulsive is the song of my every emotion,
and this the darkness inching closer and closer to me.