Remember last year when you told me, to always stay here and never leave me.. (The light from your eyes made it feel like we-e-e-e were dancing in the moonlight)


Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
_ _

 

“These will be a life long stories.”

. . …

 

Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..

My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.

I am in control.

 

And you won’t ever take it from me again.
 

Black Beatles in the city, be back immediately- Sent flowers, but you said you didn’t receive them.. (Said you didn’t need them)


Music/title: Black Beatles; Our Last Night
_ _

 

“There is nothing to explain.”

. . …
 

Only two more weeks until I hit refresh on this life.

Sometimes I wish I had parents to see how far I’ve progressed.
And it’s time like these that I miss her. Or the idea of her, at least.

I wonder if she’s sane enough to feel regret.

 

I wonder if I truly care anymore.
 

You gave up being good when you declared a state of war… (I DON’T BEHAVE, I DON’T BEHAVE, OH EH)


Music/title: Kill V. Maim; Grimes
_ _

 

“Oh, the fire, it’s alright.
The people touch it-
I can’t touch it, even though it’s mine.”

. .. …

 

I couldn’t think of a single trait of hers I carried within me.

Was I happy?
Would I really want to be like her?

I sure used to think so.
I haven’t thought of her in a while.
I haven’t needed to.

She could be dead with all the others as far as I know.
…Wouldn’t that be a treat.

Do you think most daughters wish their mothers dead today?

 

Can you even stomach the concept?

/ / /

 
And I do what I can.

Oh, Devil, I know you’re afraid. Sometimes it’s hard to learn from all your mistakes….


Music/title: Oh Devil; Electric Guest
_ _

 

“And deep inside,
I’m sure I got here all by myself.”

. . .
 

Two years since I’ve been here.
Surely you’d think I was scared,
But quite the contrary.
I know myself better these days than ever before-
What’s to be scared of?

I felt like taking something more.. harsh.
A bit of rough edges, to match…

.
 

What kind of girl are you now?

I found the cure to growing older..

01-21-17-6
Music/title: I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy; Fall Out Boy
_ _

 

“You can’t cover it up.”

. …. ..

 

Is it normal to feel this much disappointment?
I mean, I know it’s fairly common, but this is borderline suffocating….

I keep thinking I can hold out. I can make it work!
..Only to be let down once again.

I hate them. ALL of them.
I hope the fucking cunts burn in their sleep.

 

Maybe I’m just jealous.
Jealous that I am not them.
Jealous that I didn’t stay where I belonged….

::sighs::

 

…Can I stop being an adult now?

/ / /

 
It’s so, so fitting…

It’s only water, It’s only fire… (It’s only love)

02-27-16-2
Music/title: It’s Only (feat. Zyra); ODESZA
_ _

 

“It’s only slaughter,
We’re only liars,
It’s only blood.”

. …..

 

To be wanted; to be needed- A mutual addiction.
It’s all you ever desired, Da?

Such a strong emotion...
But you sure know that, don’t you?

[ yes. ]

I know you miss it- The way it’s all played..
That’s why you choose them, isn’t it?
Because who else could control what you have obtained..

The murderers.
The psycho and sociopaths.
The unloved and unwanted of society- You crave them;
Crave the mutual addiction of the unattainable.

.

[ “They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.” ]

.
 

To be wanted; to be needed is simple.
Oh, but to be desired by them….

 

True emotional ecstasy.

. . .

 

"You’re only crying, you’re only dying, you’re only dead."