When everything has to turn, and march onward.. (Only fall if you’re sure that you fall forward)


Music/title: Changes; Mutemath
_ _

 

“I’m not understood.”

.. .. ……

 

Life has been one roller coaster after another lately.
I don’t know what’s up or down, and I’m not entirely sure that’s how I want it.

But that’s normal right?
The uncertainty?
Aren’t we always uncertain about something in our lives?

I’m unsure about this.

 

But, maybe we are overdue…

 

Daddy, I don’t wanna grow up anyway- Grown ups are all sad… (Doesn’t matter where I come from anyway)


Music/title: #Grownupz; FEiN
_ _

 

“I’ll grow up and get sad.”

. …. .

 

If only I’d known…
 

I think of where I’ve come, and what I’ve done in my life-
As a child others would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I imagine most children aspire to make a difference; a change in the world.

Not me.

All I saw in my life was the horror of being locked in that house.
No friends. No family. No escape.
I would think, ‘Why would I want these complicated things they desire?’
For me, the common dreams were beyond grasp.
But, more than that-
I didn’t feel the hunger for them.

What did I want out of my life?
What were my dreams?

.

[ I suppose..
…Someone to love me. Someone *I* can love!
Someone that won’t hurt me the way everyone else does.. And… A home.

Something the complete opposite of now!
A place of my own to spend time with the person I love..
]

Almost two decades later…
People ask me if I’m excited to be purchasing my first home..

 

If only they knew.

/ / /

 
It keeps me jump jump jumpin’ and-ah..

And the- And the smile it just, floats away.. (As if the world is satisfied when night turns into day)


Music/title: Waves; Electric Guest
_ _

 

“Oh, my mind, is all
Washed away, all away.”

. . .

 

More uneventful than most birthdays, I would say.
Yet, with the right company-
One of the best…….

.

Dear Arden,

I love you.
I’d take a gluten free snack adventure over gifts any day.

Bunches of love,
wifeo13.

 

/ / /

 
And always such a pretty thing..

I fell in love at the open houses, I felt a little bit broken ’bout it. And now I know- You know I’ll follow you but.. (Where do we go from here?)

01-21-17-10
Music/title: Where Do We Go From Here?; Al Bairre
_ _

 

“Cause I saw the good and the bad in me,
But never which one I should be.”

. . .. ….. .

 

Is it real this time?
Am I finally reaching the surface?

A home.
A true home.
It all happened so fast- I was so against it, and then… It clicked; Everything fell into place. And now I can’t imagine anything else. My resolve deteriorates as we speak; My heart beating faster at the idea…

Do you know what this means to me?

No more boxes.
No more unsettled tendencies.

 

[ Does this mean I will finally feel complete? ]

.

No, love.
There is no such thing as complete.
Don’t you see?
We are never done,
But.. We are fulfilled.
We are happy,
and happier upon losing the unhappiness.
Don’t you see..?

.
 

[ Da, We are to survive.
And this is just the beginning… ]