10.25.14 [5/52] All because of you, I haven’t slept in so long. When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean…

Music/title: The Good Left Undone; Rise Against
_ _

There are still days where I miss showing off..

Except- Now it’s different.  Now I get to show what I have, not just what I am.
What I have.  What I have become. What I will be…

The whole world feels it is within my reach;
unraveling with each and every step..

…And I want it all.

/ / /

I’ll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out..

Because we won’t back down; we won’t run and hide.. ‘Cause these are the things that we can’t deny.

Music/title: Satellite; Rise Against
_ _
“I miss the ever living out of you.. You make me more happy than anything else on this planet. From the day I first met you I wanted you to be as happy with *you* as I am with you. And I want to be together with you for as long as I can. I never want to say goodbye and don’t think I ever did want to, nor will I ever.
And you’re right, this isn’t perfect. It feels so much better than that. We have found the person that brings out our darkness and at same time calms it. And I still don’t 100% understand it all. I just know that I want this. And while I would have moved heaven and earth to get it a year ago.. Now it’s just happening. And it is falling into place like it has been there all along.”

/ / /
Ross moved out.
These are sitting by my front door.
The apartment feels empty, but right at the same time.
I feel like I’d been needing this for many reasons.
I was falling in love with my best friend.
I was confused with all of my emotions, and I’m sorry I couldn’t figure it out sooner.