02.03.18 [5/52] You’re what keeps me believing the world’s not gone dead; Strength in my bones put the words in my head… (Cause that’s what you do, That’s what you do)

Music/title: I Want To Know Your Plans; Say Anything
_ _


“When they pour out to paper, it’s all for you.”

. .. .


I miss you too.

I’m trying.. Really, I am.
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but the effort is there… Somewhere..
Hidden beneath all the spreadsheets and grocery lists..
Somewhere there exists a spark..


And I’m going to find it.


/ / /

I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am..

01.27.18 [4/52] ‘Cause we could hold our sights so close, or we could chase our heroes… (And I’ve been here before)

Music/title: Caviar Dreams; Al Bairre (Feat. PHFat)
_ _


“Lead me through your harmony;
We’ll sew this so your soul can breathe…”

.. .. .


It surely is a dream.
Nothing could feel this good.


For the first time in my life it doesn’t hurt.
I’m not inflamed.
It doesn’t itch. Or feel dry.
My skin isn’t covered in sores and blisters from my moments of weakness.
For the first time in my life I feel human.

To think, an eleven year old changed my life.
..What were you doing at eleven?

If you’d told me 15 years ago that I’d have this level of peace with my disease,
I’d say you were fucking nuts.


I wish I could meet Lani Lazzari,
If only to fully explain the life-changing-impact her invention has had on me.


My skin can feel like home.

/ / /

You’d been wading in the deep, dancing through your downfall…

01.20.18 [3/52] And all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty- Highlights to wanna repeat.. But this is how it goes; The end credits—they roll.. (This bridge was built over kerosene)

Music/title: End Credits; EDEN
_ _


“Cause happy endings hardest to fake.”

. . ….


It didn’t sting nearly as much this time..
[ We did her a favor, really. ]

The colder it gets, the easier it becomes-
But you’d never guess.

– –

I’ll bet you think I don’t have a heartless bone in my body.


That’s where you’d be wrong.

/ / /

So let’s run..

Heart beats intertwine… (When you’re by my side, When you’re by my side)

Music/title: You + I (Snocker Cot Remix); Sheare
_ _


“Tell me something more about this place.”

. . … ..


Something about this is just so alluring. The distant buildings immersed in fog.. Just lovely.

This one has actually been edited for a while now.
I think you’d all be astonished to learn how many photos *don’t* get posted. hah!


The last year I did my full 52 week project was the year I did best with editing and posting everything.

I’d like to do that again.


/ / /


Credit to takeSomeCrime for this awesome song.
The man has amazing taste in music, as well as some amazing dance moves.

Check him out. ;]

I found the cure to growing older..

Music/title: I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy; Fall Out Boy
_ _


“You can’t cover it up.”

. …. ..


Is it normal to feel this much disappointment?
I mean, I know it’s fairly common, but this is borderline suffocating….

I keep thinking I can hold out. I can make it work!
..Only to be let down once again.

I hate them. ALL of them.
I hope the fucking cunts burn in their sleep.


Maybe I’m just jealous.
Jealous that I am not them.
Jealous that I didn’t stay where I belonged….



…Can I stop being an adult now?

/ / /

It’s so, so fitting…

And forgive me love for wanting you… (Oh you, oh you…..)

Music/title: All Choked Up; Say Anything
_ _


“Oh can you see me now?”

. .. ….


I felt the anger, the frustration all bubbling up inside me.
But there you lay- So small…  So caught up in fighting your inner demons.
I felt it all melting.  Felt the tiny strings of my heart pulling tight with each thought….
Fucking worthless- Piece of insignificant shit.  …How could you?! 

I closed my eyes, pressing my head against yours..
My hands clutched at the base of your neck.
I let my lips find you.
I felt your apathy.  Your hatred.  And I felt every demon.
…I kissed you again.  And again… I felt your seclusion falling away,
And I felt you kiss me back…


Is this what it means?
To so strongly love that you cease your own emotions… 


08.29.15 [49/52] What will we do when we get old, will we walk down the same road? (…Will you be there, by my side?)

Music/title: Lean On (Major Lazer x DJ Snake feat. MØ cover); Miracles of Modern Science
_ _


“The nights are long,
Longing for you to come home…”

. . ..


How am I supposed to do this?
How am I supposed to give up my time with you for them?
I was so ready not long ago,
And now I’m doubting every urge within myself.


Something tells me I will just know when it’s right, but what if I’m too late?
What if my mind is ready, but my body has far past its limitations?

I fucking hate this.
I hate the urges.  I hate the pressure.  I don’t even fucking WANT them.
YOU are the only reason I want any of this…
Am I so wrong to be terrified that they will take you away?


Then who would I be?
Surely not the person that created this ‘love’…..

/ / /

All we need is somebody to lean on..