Music/title: Oceans; The Fray
“There goes the sun, oceans away!”
. . . ..
Better and better it gets.
This is where I needed to be.
I want it all.
I want everything life took from me- All of it.
I refuse to feel guilt,
because I deserve this.
The hand life deals does not dictate the end result- don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise.
I should be dead.
But I am not.
So throw away those shitty cards.
Open a new deck- A new world.
Re-imagine life the way you want,
And take it.
Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
“These will be a life long stories.”
. . …
Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..
My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.
I am in control.
And you won’t ever take it from me again.
Music/title: Round Two; Imad Royal
“Got me like oh me oh my.”
. . ….
“We loved you.”
I swear, in that moment I could’ve flown….
/ / /
There’s a clear purpose to it all;
There’s a goal.
The first step achieved-
Music/title: Where Do We Go From Here?; Al Bairre
“Cause I saw the good and the bad in me,
But never which one I should be.”
. . .. ….. .
Is it real this time?
Am I finally reaching the surface?
A true home.
It all happened so fast- I was so against it, and then… It clicked; Everything fell into place. And now I can’t imagine anything else. My resolve deteriorates as we speak; My heart beating faster at the idea…
Do you know what this means to me?
No more boxes.
No more unsettled tendencies.
[ Does this mean I will finally feel complete? ]
There is no such thing as complete.
Don’t you see?
We are never done,
But.. We are fulfilled.
We are happy,
and happier upon losing the unhappiness.
Don’t you see..?
[ Da, We are to survive.
And this is just the beginning… ]
Music/title: Sleepless Club (WEKEED Boot); Lorde vs Flume
Take the pill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my old address. I’m sitting pretty on the throne.
There’s nothing more I want, except to be alone..
. . ….. … ..
“There was no real sense of life,
because she had nothing to contrast it with.
The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly.
The farther you run, the more God wants you back.
Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
/ / /
It’s a day for words and curves.
Where do you see yourself at the end of your life?
Comment for me.
Music/title: Father; The Front Bottoms
“I’ll do the pushups,
I’ll wear the makeup.”
.. .. …
It feels almost as if I’ve misplaced the entire door to my home-
Left wandering aimlessly with keys in hand.
It’s coming back.
Slowly, but surely…
..I’m finding the door to myself again.
/ / /
I’ll do whatever he wants all night.
Music/title: Favorite Song (feat. Childish Gambino); Chance The Rapper
Fuck just settling…
You think you’re going to get there by accepting the passable?
I say, fuck regret! Fuck conforming to these prepackaged lives we’re dealt-
And screw the ever living out of the hand you’ve been thrown!
You weren’t given the lifestyle you want?
…Go out and fucking get it.