And she runs, and she waits… ( And I wait )

01.23.16 -1
Music/title: Tyler; The Toadies
_ _

 

“I will be with her tonight!”

. .. . ..

 

I thought I was so, so sure of it all..
Is it actually necessary to go through every single desire?
…Will this achieve my sense of self-fulfillment?

I’d like to think not….

. .. . ..

 
“I gave up that life for her.”

Maybe this is what he meant.
I thought finding someone to embrace that life was all that mattered…
And then I thought differently.   I thought I was wrong.

 

….I fucking hope I haven’t been right from the start.

 

/ / /

 
I hear the fear in her voice…

05.23.15 [35/52] Can you save, Can you save my… Can you save my heavy dirty soul? (For me, for me, oh)


Music/title: Heavydirtysoul; Twenty One Pilots
_ _

 

Isn’t it always this way?

. .. . ..

 

Most of the time it blends together.
Each session running into the next- But this… This time..
God, to be in that moment again..

Your nails digging unforgivingly into my hips,
My own body completely crushed beneath the weight of you-
Convulsion, after convulsion, after convulsion,
It’s always this way..

 

And I am never more complete, when completely without control.

 
/ / /

 
Oh, oh, I’m falling..