But we couldn’t do this to ourselves if it was never worth it, never worth it… (I don’t know how not to fuck this up again)

Music/title: Don’t Fuck This Up; Andrew Applepie
_ _


“I swear I’m not trying to fuck you up.”

. .


I saw myself in her;
A former self-

A truly dedicated slave.

Surely she’s still alive in there.


The older I get, the further away it becomes.
A more distant dream.
One I used to have, to want daily..

Where did it go?
Who have I become?

It’s okay if I like the changes, right?




[ You know you could always ask him.
He knows more about you than you think.

..Don’t forget how this all began. ]


/ / /


Good Mythical Morning.


Our house is falling over- Don’t drown me, I’m underwater. Let’s call this whole thing over… (Why are you here?)

Music/title: Just a Like Song; Al Bairre
_ _


“Upside down,
Inside out..
(Anywhere you wanna be)”

. . … .


[ But I’m not qualified for anything. ]

“You’re always saying that.”

[ What am I qualified for then? ]



Good or bad.
Right or wrong.

I hate choice.
I want to be told what to do-
I want subservience;
To be a slave.

– –

But, darling… You wear the mask so well.

/ / /


Disbanded treats.
Thank you, Al Bairre. <3

08.22.12 [239] Things won’t change until we do.


Music/title: Changes (Shlohmo Remix); LOL Boys
_ _
“I have these feelings for you,” He says as he runs a hand down my arched back and perfectly displayed ass. “..Some might call them love.” He grips my ass tightly; admiring his property.
“I have feelings for you that some might call love as well, Sir.” I tighten my position. I want to turn to him, to ask him to hurt me …that I desperately want to hurt for him. This is the only way I can think to show him how much I love and trust him.
I would’ve let him destroy me right in that moment. I would’ve gladly let him break me until I didn’t recognize myself as a person anymore. I don’t know if it was my love for him, or my complete devotion as a slave that felt such a pull to give myself to him. But, my god, how I’ve missed being this..
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything, that we’re free to do anything.”
/ / /
He finally said it. Later, after everything else… “I do love you.”
And he said it again the next day, and the next..