Music/title: Let’s Fall In Love Some More; Al Bairre
“I need some sun in my eyes.”
You need to backtrack your ground, love.
What the fuck do you think you’re doing!? ..Think you can keep it up?
….Let’s hope you’re not mistaken.
/ / /
You’re nothing, you’re nothing…
Music/title: Fog; From Indian Lakes
“This is what I imagine the exact opposite of dying to feel like.”
. . ….
[ I fucking love this. Is this what you feel all the time?? ]
“No, but it is a good feeling.”
[ I almost didn’t go there. I was so nervous.. I thought of every excuse as to why I couldn’t. When, in reality, I was simply scared- Scared to step outside my comfort zone. Scared to put myself out there… To face disappointment. ]
“My policy is-
Punch your comfort zone in the face.”
/ / /
“You’re now stuck with that feeling forever..”
Music/title: Swans and The Swimming; Iron & Wine
We will always go back to those days. The days when we were just friends. When things were beyond complicated. We’ll be eighty years old yelling at each other about who should’ve done what, and why one did the other. I’ll never forget the first time I kissed him. We had both stayed up to the point of exhaustion again. I could feel his desire for me clinging to my skin from across the room. The way he looked at me…. My god. It was as if someone had the lit the room on fire, but he was blind to it. He could feel the heat and knew there would be relief, if only he could get closer to me…
I pulled away from our hug goodbye, staring up into those wanting eyes.
I didn’t want him to go. And I could see that neither did he. I could smell him. I could feel him.
A thousand times over his body screamed how it wanted me.
[ Arden…. I really want to kiss you. ]
That was all it took.
I remember his body shaking.
I remember the kiss was not what I had expected.
…Like he’d never kissed anyone before.
He pulled back, with a look of bliss and confusion slapped across his face.
I stood there for a moment, thinking about it.
[ No. That’s not right. We need to do that again. ]
I pressed my body into him.
I pressed my lips soft and hard back against his.
I made him feel my desire for him in that very moment.
And he threw everything he had back at me..
.. . ..
I s’pose you could say this was the start of it all..
But how do we know when anything really begins?