01.27.18 [4/52] ‘Cause we could hold our sights so close, or we could chase our heroes… (And I’ve been here before)

Music/title: Caviar Dreams; Al Bairre (Feat. PHFat)
_ _


“Lead me through your harmony;
We’ll sew this so your soul can breathe…”

.. .. .


It surely is a dream.
Nothing could feel this good.


For the first time in my life it doesn’t hurt.
I’m not inflamed.
It doesn’t itch. Or feel dry.
My skin isn’t covered in sores and blisters from my moments of weakness.
For the first time in my life I feel human.

To think, an eleven year old changed my life.
..What were you doing at eleven?

If you’d told me 15 years ago that I’d have this level of peace with my disease,
I’d say you were fucking nuts.


I wish I could meet Lani Lazzari,
If only to fully explain the life-changing-impact her invention has had on me.


My skin can feel like home.

/ / /

You’d been wading in the deep, dancing through your downfall…

12.27.14 [14/52] She said, “Paint a picture on me, throw your dress up, and your heart away.”

12.21.14 -8
Music/title: Besitos; Pierce the Veil
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“I felt like destroying something beautiful.”

. .. . . ..

What is it really?

Is it this body? [ You tell me I’m beautiful, therefor I must be. ]
What about this photo? ..Is this what beauty looks like? [ I think it’s beautiful, therefor it must be. ]
Sometimes I get the urge to bite into flesh until I taste the blood on my lips.


Now that.

..Wouldn’t that be beautiful.

/ / /

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine.

10.18.14 [4/52] And as I stared I counted webs from all the spiders, catching things and eating their insides.. ( Stop this pain tonight. )

Music/title: I Miss You; Blink 182
_ _


Is this always the way…
Is it always this ‘happy ending’ ?

. .. . . .

I’m so afraid that the moment I begin to feel comfortable with my happiness something is going to come along and snatch it away.  Like I’m not meant to have it.  Or meant to feel good in my life.

I suppose that comes from a childhood of mental torture.
But sometimes.. I still feel that tiny prickling in the back of my mind..

‘Don’t get too comfortable.. You had to know it couldn’t last forever..’


Everyone is always talking about finding happiness…
But why does no one ever mention how hard it can be to accept once it’s been found?


/ / /

The rest of this week’s photography under the cut…