01.27.18 [4/52] ‘Cause we could hold our sights so close, or we could chase our heroes… (And I’ve been here before)


Music/title: Caviar Dreams; Al Bairre (Feat. PHFat)
_ _

 

“Lead me through your harmony;
We’ll sew this so your soul can breathe…”

.. .. .

 

It surely is a dream.
Nothing could feel this good.

.

For the first time in my life it doesn’t hurt.
I’m not inflamed.
It doesn’t itch. Or feel dry.
My skin isn’t covered in sores and blisters from my moments of weakness.
For the first time in my life I feel human.

To think, an eleven year old changed my life.
..What were you doing at eleven?

If you’d told me 15 years ago that I’d have this level of peace with my disease,
I’d say you were fucking nuts.

 

I wish I could meet Lani Lazzari,
If only to fully explain the life-changing-impact her invention has had on me.

Finally..

My skin can feel like home.

/ / /

 
You’d been wading in the deep, dancing through your downfall…

I found the cure to growing older..

01-21-17-6
Music/title: I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy; Fall Out Boy
_ _

 

“You can’t cover it up.”

. …. ..

 

Is it normal to feel this much disappointment?
I mean, I know it’s fairly common, but this is borderline suffocating….

I keep thinking I can hold out. I can make it work!
..Only to be let down once again.

I hate them. ALL of them.
I hope the fucking cunts burn in their sleep.

 

Maybe I’m just jealous.
Jealous that I am not them.
Jealous that I didn’t stay where I belonged….

::sighs::

 

…Can I stop being an adult now?

/ / /

 
It’s so, so fitting…

Lady, running down to the riptide, taken away to the dark side… (I wanna be your left hand man)

10-01-16-10
Music/title: Riptide; Vance Joy
_ _

 

“Oh, oh, and they come unstuck.”

. .. ….

 

Go back five years ago,
and I’d never have taken it.

Go back a few years ago,
and I’d have definitely considered it.

Go back a week ago,
and I almost asked you for it.

 

 

You always find a cure before I find the disease.
….Can we do this again?

/ / /

 
And she’s been living on the highest shelf…

04.04.15 [28/52] Can you hear the silence, can you see the dark… ( Can you fix the broken? )

04.04.15
Music/title: Can You Feel My Heart; Bring Me the Horizon
_ _

 

“Can you feel… Can you feel my heart?”

. . .. ….

 

Looks like this is it-
On some level I suppose I should’ve known.
It’s always this way, and somehow I think it always will be…

 

 

“I long for that feeling to not feel at all.”

 

/ / /

 
And I’m drowning in the déjà vu…