These memories are nothing to me, just salt in the wound…


Music/title: Salt; Bad Suns
_ _

 

“And I don’t believe in the truth, truth.”

. . . .. . . … . .

 

I shouldn’t have cried.
I shouldn’t have given you hope.
I should’ve spoken every bitter word I swallowed.
But I listened.

 

Because that’s what you do, right?
That’s what’s polite?

[ I was merely being polite. ]

It didn’t affect me.
[ I didn’t wish to believe. ]

___ ___

 

What do you do when the darkest parts of you are shaken?

 

…You hope to hell that you’re right.
 

Nothing gonna get me in my world…. (I wanna get me free!)


Music/title: Dreams; Beck
_ _

 

“Ahhhh, here we are…
Running circles around around around around.”

. … ..

 

I’ve never been quite this close.
Just the taste of it- Christ.
I’ve wanted this for so long.
Dreamed about it.
Prayed, even.

All pieces are fitting so perfectly.
My puzzle.
My world.
My bubble- Almost complete.

So much work;
So many awful experiences just to get to this moment.
I truly have dreamed of a place to call home.

…And it’s finally within my grasp.

/ / /

 

Oh just you wait and see.
::smirks::

But it’s collisions we need to remind us that we’re alive…

011
Music/title: This Ain’t No Place For Animals; Hands Like Houses
_ _

 

“Tear back the skin to find,
to chase a pulse back home.”

.. . …

 

[ Life is just so goddamn hard… Every time I get to the good parts, it feels like something else takes them away. I feel one day I won’t be able to handle anything else, and that I’ll just break down. ]

 
“Then I will pick your pieces back up and put you back together.
Because I will never let you give up.  And even if you can’t believe in yourself,
I will make you believe in the me that believes in you.”

 

/ / /

 
And we still know nothing…

I can run, I can change all the answers… (Or what I hope they’d be)

11.21.15 -0
Music/title: Hope; We Came As Romans
_ _

 

“Don’t fade away…”

. .. . …

 

Isn’t it always this way?
Always on the wrong side of the glass- Looking in, never out…

I know you’re scared.
I know deep down that you’re fighting the inevitable.
And I wish I could give you my experiences; taking all the horrible things I’ve done-
Showing you it’s not so bad as all that.

 

Someday, love.
We will be free from this… From them..

 
One day.

 

And you’ll never know anyone now….

10.19.15 -1

Music/title: Fog; From Indian Lakes
_ _

 

“But if you get up now, you can try to survive.”

. . .. …

 

I would’ve given you anything in that moment-
Whatever you named, it was yours…

Holding your head in my lap, as I did a year ago…
I felt your tears streaming onto my skin-
My heart aching to watch you desperately cling to the boy inside.

 

You’re never really old enough to deal with these things.
….And I’m sorry you have to.

 

/ / /

 
I’ve been trying to figure it out my whole life…