Music/title: Salt; Bad Suns
“And I don’t believe in the truth, truth.”
. . . .. . . … . .
I shouldn’t have cried.
I shouldn’t have given you hope.
I should’ve spoken every bitter word I swallowed.
But I listened.
Because that’s what you do, right?
That’s what’s polite?
[ I was merely being polite. ]
It didn’t affect me.
[ I didn’t wish to believe. ]
What do you do when the darkest parts of you are shaken?
…You hope to hell that you’re right.
Music/title: Dreams; Beck
“Ahhhh, here we are…
Running circles around around around around.”
. … ..
I’ve never been quite this close.
Just the taste of it- Christ.
I’ve wanted this for so long.
Dreamed about it.
All pieces are fitting so perfectly.
My bubble- Almost complete.
So much work;
So many awful experiences just to get to this moment.
I truly have dreamed of a place to call home.
…And it’s finally within my grasp.
/ / /
Oh just you wait and see.
Music/title: This Ain’t No Place For Animals; Hands Like Houses
“Tear back the skin to find,
to chase a pulse back home.”
.. . …
[ Life is just so goddamn hard… Every time I get to the good parts, it feels like something else takes them away. I feel one day I won’t be able to handle anything else, and that I’ll just break down. ]
“Then I will pick your pieces back up and put you back together.
Because I will never let you give up. And even if you can’t believe in yourself,
I will make you believe in the me that believes in you.”
/ / /
And we still know nothing…
Music/title: Hope; We Came As Romans
“Don’t fade away…”
. .. . …
Isn’t it always this way?
Always on the wrong side of the glass- Looking in, never out…
I know you’re scared.
I know deep down that you’re fighting the inevitable.
And I wish I could give you my experiences; taking all the horrible things I’ve done-
Showing you it’s not so bad as all that.
We will be free from this… From them..
Music/title: Fog; From Indian Lakes
“But if you get up now, you can try to survive.”
. . .. …
I would’ve given you anything in that moment-
Whatever you named, it was yours…
Holding your head in my lap, as I did a year ago…
I felt your tears streaming onto my skin-
My heart aching to watch you desperately cling to the boy inside.
You’re never really old enough to deal with these things.
….And I’m sorry you have to.
/ / /
I’ve been trying to figure it out my whole life…