And now that it’s gone, it’s like it wasn’t there at all…

04.18.12 -1
Music/title: Title and registration; Death Cab for Cutie
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She knew.  She didn’t know how, but when her mother’s door opened for the first time in days she just knew.  She heard her mother’s footsteps move into the basement, and it was then that she heard the gasoline dripping off what once was her mother and onto the floor.


..It was then she knew she had to escape.

60 words of non-fiction; May 2011
Photo taken April, almost exactly a year later.


I don’t know how to forget,
And I don’t know how to remember..

So put on your best suit and tie, I’ll put on my best dress to fake being accomplished… ( Then we’ll know we are grown )

05.17.14 -9

Music/title: Put On; Danielle Ate the Sandwich

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Chapter 1 [?]


Does my name really matter?
How does a name define a person anyway?

My mother told me she choose my name because she read it in a book. She said the heroine in the story was strong in her life, and that she wanted the same for me- To be strong. Little did she know how much I would actually need it.


My mother. Now there’s a character to be had.

She was strong. One of the strongest people I think I’ve yet to meet. And, my god, I swear she knew a little bit about everything in life. You name it, and she’d done it or tried it. If not that, then she damn well knew how to figure it out. I wanted to be everything she was when I was younger- To know how to, so easily, do everything that was thrown my way. She was good at ‘life things,’ as I called it. And I envied her.

As for me, I suppose I’m something to be had myself. Alright, I am something… God, even now it’s hard to display myself on the proper shelf. Maybe by the end of this, eh?

Heh. ‘The end.

I’ve never focused much on that, you see. I’ve always had to take one day at a time. Because every day was different. Because every morning life threw something different on my plate and said, “This is what you’re dealt. Deal with it.

It’s only now that I’m starting to realize I don’t need to view life that way anymore. It’s no longer a matter of life and death, but, instead, of happiness and fulfillment. Arden is slowly showing me that.

Oh, Arden. The man is everything to me. Absolutely fucking everything.

But this?
This isn’t about him.


This is about everything before that.