Baby if you don’t stand for something, how can you ever stand at all… (You’ll be swept back by the fall)


Music/title: Atlas; Good Kid
_ _

 

“She said she was nothing but eager.”

. . .. ..

 

This is out of character.
But isn’t everything lately?

I mean honestly, what hasn’t changed?

I tell myself I will be complete when X happens, but X never comes, does it?
We never reach the end; The course never goes as planned..

 

And we’re not the character we intended to become.

/ / /

 
Then you said you said you said you said you said…

When everything has to turn, and march onward.. (Only fall if you’re sure that you fall forward)


Music/title: Changes; Mutemath
_ _

 

“I’m not understood.”

.. .. ……

 

Life has been one roller coaster after another lately.
I don’t know what’s up or down, and I’m not entirely sure that’s how I want it.

But that’s normal right?
The uncertainty?
Aren’t we always uncertain about something in our lives?

I’m unsure about this.

 

But, maybe we are overdue…

 

They’re bold; The knots that bind her love- The product of desire to inspire selfish harmony, Oh.. (And what I want is your body)


Music/title: Freaky Love; Captain Kidd
_ _

 

“My vaccine;
Recurring Siamese dream-
Illuminate hallucinations burnt into the back of your mind..”

. . .. .

 

I see the remnants of the fire, but where is the spark?

.

The slow down is building.
The desire is fueling,
But I can’t seem to ignite.

. .

 

“And what I need
Is your body
(Your freaky love)”

 

And days die young… (When you’re gone, and you’re gone)


Music/title: Oceans; The Fray
_ _

 

“There goes the sun, oceans away!”

. . . ..

 

Better and better it gets.
This is where I needed to be.

.

I want it all.
I want everything life took from me- All of it.
I refuse to feel guilt,
because I deserve this.

The hand life deals does not dictate the end result- don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise.

I should be dead.
But I am not.

.

 

So throw away those shitty cards.
Open a new deck- A new world.
Re-imagine life the way you want,

And take it.

I’ve got this poison running deep in my mind, my mind.. (I know you think it’s alright)


Music/title: Wasted On You (feat. ROZES); Louis Futon
_ _

 

“I’m wasted on you.”

. . … .. …..

 

Liberating doesn’t begin to cover it.
A twinge of denial, maybe.
I still can’t believe it all. Everything seems so surreal in our lives.

Did you plan this from the start?

 

A part of me believes I had nothing to do with it. That it was all thanks to others. The bad parts of my mind attempt to latch on- hopes of some form of sabotage..

..but…

..the other side.
The part that has drug me through all the blood and tears… That part is proud.
Look at how far you’ve come. ..Look at what you’ve done for yourself..

Aren’t you so happy now?

.
 

If I ever believed in a God,
now would be the time to thank him.

/ / /

 
We keep it going just like we always do, we do..

Another door, another question- I’m going ’round in circles, wondering when I’ll reach the end… (and I can’t help but give in)


Music/title: 1000 Doors; The Living Tombstone
_ _

 

“I’m losing the sense of where I am.”

. .. .

 

Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I miss this.
I miss the therapeutic nature of it all. I want to peel back the layers I have pasted onto myself; to escape the norm. This is what we aim for, right? The materialism. The cookie cutters, and decisive actions.

I can feel how close we are.

 

…Why can’t we grasp it?

 

But you held your course to some distant war, in the corners of your mind…


Music/title: Angela; The Lumineers
_ _

 

“Let the exits pass, all the tar and glass-
‘Til the road and sky align.”

. . .

 

I just need to catch my breath,
then everything will be okay, right?

. .
 

The dark parts of my brain are seeping through.

[ But you did it- you’re FREE. ]

.
 

Is that so?
I claim the void is supposed to be empty,

 

So why can’t I stop trying to fill it?
 

Remember last year when you told me, to always stay here and never leave me.. (The light from your eyes made it feel like we-e-e-e were dancing in the moonlight)


Music/title: Moonlight; Grace Vanderwaal
_ _

 

“These will be a life long stories.”

. . …

 

Four days and counting.
If you could see me now..

My life- In boxes again.
But this time I am making a home for myself.
I am creating everything that you took from me.

I am in control.

 

And you won’t ever take it from me again.
 

Black Beatles in the city, be back immediately- Sent flowers, but you said you didn’t receive them.. (Said you didn’t need them)


Music/title: Black Beatles; Our Last Night
_ _

 

“There is nothing to explain.”

. . …
 

Only two more weeks until I hit refresh on this life.

Sometimes I wish I had parents to see how far I’ve progressed.
And it’s time like these that I miss her. Or the idea of her, at least.

I wonder if she’s sane enough to feel regret.

 

I wonder if I truly care anymore.